This post originally appeared on Collective Evolution.
I came across an amazing article almost 3 years back. The article highlighted the accounts of a nurse named Bronnie Ware who used to tend to the terminally ill. She put her findings into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing. As you read along, you’ll find that many of the regrets she mentioned applies to all of us on an everyday basis. We delay the things we really want to do till the day it’s no longer possible. Below are excerpts from the book.
No. 1: “This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.”
No. 2: “This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”
No. 3: “Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”
No. 4: “Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.”
No. 5: ”This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to themselves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”
No matter where you stand in life today, there shouldn’t be any room for regret. You may feel that there’s so much you could have done differently. But don’t let the past haunt you. Rather use the past as a reference point to understand what you need to change in your life to avoid further regrets. So borrowing a leaf from Bronnie Ware, here’s how we can live a regret-free life:
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